TS

At 11:53 I instigate the day’s ablutions
In the hope my constitution can be altered by some action on the bowl
But the total non-existence of colonic animation
Seems to me the perfect metaphor for the utter constipation of my soul
By 11:59 I have decided that my life would be immediately improved
By a carefully written list of short-term goals
But by 12.05 my list consists of one-dot put some pants on
Two-dot go to the shop, buy some prunes and Panadol

(Some People Have It Worse Than I)

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